The Anthony Nicholas Memoirs

Mickey Avalon: The Groupie Chronicle’s {Pt. 2}

Posted in Behind The Scenes, Music, Nightlife by Anthony Nicholas on November 21, 2010

Groupie 1: OMG! How rad was Mickey’s performance? Groupie 2: I’m Obsessed. He’s like all the Rolling Stones rolled into one rap star!
Groupie 1: Now you’ve gone to far. Groupie 2: Shut up you whore. Let’s go to the V.i.P., I bet I can get him to make out with me first.
Groupie 1: You wish! My tits are way bigger. Plus, I can work the pole like a certified stripper. Groupie 2: Yeah right bitch!!

An Hour Later……

Groupie 2: So what that you got Mickey to make out with you first… I got us into this limo and introduced Mickey to the dude with all that nose candy.

Groupie 1: I’ve never had nose candy before. Do you think Mickey will like us better if we do it?

Groupie 2: Probably, haven’t you heard “So rich, so pretty”? He likes them girls with the “Caked up make-up.” Groupie 1. I don’t think that’s what he’s talking about…

Groupie 2. Sure he is. Or.. “She thinks it’s funny when her nose gets bloody.” Groupie 1. Haha! I guess your right, pass me that $5 bill you made into a straw.

An Hour Later…

Groupie 1. I can’t feel my face. Am I supposed to not feel my face? Groupie 2. I think so! How much fun are you having bitch!?

Groupie 1. I’ll be having much more fun once I’m alone with Mickey. Wait.. Where did Mickey go?

Groupie 2. I’m not sure. I think he went in the closet with that girl who knew like all the words to his songs. All the champagne is gone.. is there anymore champagne anywhere?

Groupie 1. He’s where?! In the closet?! With her?! Ohh well.. I’m not trying to be sloppy seconds. Any idea when “Dirt Nasty” is coming to town?

Mickey Avalon: The Groupie Chronicles {Pt 1.}

Posted in Behind The Scenes, Music, Nightlife by Anthony Nicholas on November 21, 2010

{Before the show}

Groupie 1- “Did you hear Mickey Avalon is going to be at Feelgood’s tonight?” Groupie 2- “Mickey Who?”

Groupie 1- “Mickey Avalon, the rapper who has that My Dick song about his dick being really big. You know.”

Groupie 2- “Ohh yeah, I love that song! Do you think his dick is really as big as he say’s?”

Groupie 1- ” Idk but I’m definitely going to find out!” Groupie 2- “You Slut…….! Not if I beat you to it.”

Friend of groupies: “Mickey Avalon?! He’s a Homo. I heard he got boo’d off stage opening for the Chili Peppers. Plus he’s headlining at the biggest Douche Pit in all of Florida, Dr. Feelgoods. You sluts have fun catching std’s and smoking crystal meth.

Groupies 1 & 2 “Your just jealous we’ll be having sex with a famous rap star while your at home whacking it to or whatever. See you after the show loser!

I Saw Her “Standing” There {pt. 2}

Posted in Comedy, Memior, Music by Anthony Nicholas on November 8, 2010

“The Beatles” came out on Itunes today. Although I own “Please, Please me” on Vinyl, I figured I’d buy the digital album anyway so I could listen to it wherever I happen to be. Funny thing though, as the album starts off with “I Saw Her Standing There”, a fun, upbeat tune about finding the girl of their dreams, the very next track is entitled “Misery”, a sad, yet upbeat track about losing their dream girl. I find this to be ironic, because thats exactly what happened to me the other day after meeting “Anna.”

Anna was everything I could ever want in a girl as far as looks go, but when I approached her, she shot me down quick, leaving me feeling just like that Beatles song, in “Misery”. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why. I was so polite. As I shopped for my groceries, I told myself the next time I ever saw her, it would be different. I would win her heart. Boy was I wrong, again…

As I loaded my groceries in the car, as if by fate, I saw her out of the corner of my eye. She walked with this fierce strut as she passed me by, like a runway model down the catwalk of a fashion show. I could tell this girl was serious about her shopping. It was very intimidating. Nonetheless, I hurried to catch up to her. I wasn’t about to repeat the same mistake as last time, or was I…? “Hey Anna!”, I said gleefully as I caught up to her at the end of the street. “How’s the shopping going?” I asked.

“It’s going terrible for you I see.” Anna said sarcastically. “It looks like my grandfathers closet threw up all over you. And those glasses, ick!” Before I could even respond, Anna continued.. ” I really don’t have the time for this today geek, so I’m just gonna spell it our for you. I’m NOT interested.” She said. I was shocked. “Wow.” I told her. “If your being this honest with me, will you at least tell me WHY your not interested, where did I go wrong?” I asked sincerely.

“Well for starters, you seem creepy.” She said. “You stared at me for like fifteen minutes before you even approached me, and when you did, all you could talk about was how pretty I was.” She told me. “Although that was very nice of you, “Nice Guy’s” constantly talk to me about my looks everyday and it’s getting annoying. Doesn’t anyone even care that I’m smart as well?” she asked me. “Not only that, but your not even looking at my face when I’m talking, your looking at my chest. Do I really have to go any further?” Said Anna as she walked away.

She didn’t have to go any further. I understood. For the first time, I was starting to understand why pretty girls weren’t talking to me. That, and I should probably get new glasses. Thank You Anna. And thank you Itunes, for finally releasing the Beatles in mp3.

Photo by: Ptah Quammie Model: Kailey Claire Bing

Cereal Isle

Posted in Comedy, Memior, Poetry by Anthony Nicholas on November 8, 2010

Every time I’m in the grocery store, I have to stop at the cereal isle. Even if my pantry is stocked full of cereal, I still make it a point to browse.


“I’m always looking for something new, a cereal that I’ve never tried.
But there so much cereal to choose from, It’s so hard to decide!

There’s Captain Crunch, Golden Grahams, Cookie Crisp and Smacks.
There’s cereal I eat for breakfast, and some I eat as snacks.

There’s Cheerio’s with Honey Nut, there’s Cheerio’s with frosting.
There’s so many freaking’ Cheerio’s, picking one can be exhausting.

When I’m leaning toward the healthy side, there’s just a few I’ll eat,
Like Quaker Oatmeal, Kashi Flakes, and Kellogg’s Shredded Wheat.
But when I’m feeling like a kid again, and craving something sweet,
Lucky Charm’s or Coco Puffs, just cannot be beat!

There’s cereal that’s made of bran, there’s some that’s made of oats.
There’s cereal with marshmallows, and some with frosted coats.
There’s cereal with raisins, even clusters of nut and honey.
But no matter what it’s made of, It’s the best way to spend my money!”


I met a beautiful blonde in the cereal isle that day, she said she eats Honey Bunches of Oats every morning. I can’t see myself with a girl who eats the same cereal all the time. Ohh Well, moving on.

Photographer- Ptah Quammie Model-Heather Allsup

I Saw Her “Sitting” There {pt.1}

Posted in Memior by Anthony Nicholas on November 8, 2010

One of my favorite Beatles songs of all time is, “I Saw Her Standing There.” John Lennon and Paul McCartney wrote it for their debut Album “Please, Please Me” back in 1963. The premise of the song is this, the guys spot a beautiful girl at a party, dance with her, and then fall madly in love. Ahh… If only life was that simple. In my world, this song is more like a fairy tale. Love at first site? Does that stuff really happen in the real life? Well the other day at city place I sure thought it did, but boy was I wrong.

Maybe it was the fact that she was “sitting there”, and not “standing there” that messed things up for me, but I really thought she was “the one.” I’m not really sure where I went wrong on this one, but here is what happened. I was on my way to the grocery store for some lasagna ingredient’s, and then Bam! There she was, one of the most beautiful girls I had ever seen, just sitting all alone at the corner cafe’. It took me about 15 minutes of staring awkwardly in her direction to finally get the guts to talk to her, but when I did, it was all downhill from there.

I sat directly behind her and tapped her three times on the shoulder. When she turned around, she looked me up and down briefly and replied, “Eeew.” “Hi, I’m Anthony Nicholas.” I told her. “Your really pretty.” “Pfft!” She replied sarcastically. “Okay…..”. “Your eyes are like the ocean, and I’m lost at sea.” I told her, as I looked into her eyes. “Riiiight….” she said, as she looked down at her iphone to avoid eye contact with me. “Can I help you?!” she asked. “Hmm.” I thought. There wasn’t much I needed her help with, so I just continued to shower her with compliments and tell her how hot I thought she was.

Without even a thank you, she picked up her Iphone and began chatting away. She then waved “good-bye” to me with her right hand, signaling me to leave her the heck alone. “Boy ohh Boy”, I thought to myself. I wonder how much rejection John & Paul had to go through before they found that girl at the party they wrote their hit song about. And when they did find her, did they really just dance and fall in love? They had to have said something cool to get her to dance with them. I wished there was a magic pick-up line that I could say to get beautiful girls to like me, but thats just science fiction. As I walked away to the grocery store, I began to think of all the things I did that turned this girl off, but I couldn’t. Does anyone know what the heck I did wrong??!! Help a geek out..

Too be continued……..

Photo by Ptah “Art Crazy Photography” Model- Kailey Claire Bing

On Set W/ The Overthrow & Hot Pink Delorean

Posted in Behind The Scenes, Music by Anthony Nicholas on November 3, 2010

No matter how hard I think back, I still can’t remember the first time I saw “Back to The Future.” I’ve seen it over 500 times. It’s my favorite movie, Ever. I can watch it 500 more times and never be tired of it. I’ve seen it so much that the whole script is permanently tattooed in my brain. Like this classic line… Marty- “Are you telling me that you made a time machine……. out of a Delorean?! Doc- “If your gonna build a time machine out of a car, you might as well do it with some style!” And after 25 years, the Delorean & the Back to the Future Trilogy sill have all the style and swag that they did back in 1985.

When I first got a call that “The Overthrow” was starting a new record label, and one of their first orders of business was producing a music video for the group Hot Pink Delorean’s new E.P. , I jumped at the chance to help out in anyway I could. Director Sam Baum had actually found an authentic Delorean to blaze through the streets of Miami at 88mph for the video! Doc Brown would have been really impressed. Needless to say, with so many professionals on set, I learned quite alot about the music video production process, and and got to spend some quality time with a classic Delorean.

According to the Overthrow’s twitter feed ,this video is more than half way through the editing process. It promises to deliver 3 new songs off of “Hot Pink Delorean’s” new Ep, 3 girls asses, 3 giant drinks, and 3 siiiiick dj’s. It might even feature a scene with me getting a Martini spit in my face by a hot girl I’m trying to pick up at Rok Bar. No matter what though, this video promises to deliver on a grand scale. With visionaries like Sam Baum, Stian Petter Roenning, Alex Borough, Aban Sonia, Hot Pink Delorean & the rest of “The Overthrow” crew behind this project, don’t expect this video to be anything less than epic. Until then, I’ll see you all in the future, or maybe even the past…

Blackout in a Can

Posted in Fear, Short Story by Anthony Nicholas on October 29, 2010

Britnee & Nathalie were bff’s. They’ve been best f#^cking friends since the third grade. Practically inseparable ever since their teacher Miss Miller paired them up for a science fair project on hot air balloons, which they happened to win the entire fair with! And Although they were almost nothing alike, their differences balanced each other out, like a ying to each others yang. Nathalie was shy & smart. So smart in fact, that if she wasn’t blessed with good looks, she’d probably end up sitting at the geek table in the high school lunchroom trading pokemon’ cards & discussing astrophysics. Britnee was athletic and popular. So popular in fact, that she won homecoming queen 2 years in a row, and always ended up dating guys who drove sports cars or luxury sedans. Aside from all their differences however, there was one thing that both girls always had in common, Cheerleading!

This year was different however. Homecoming was right around the corner and yet the girls felt like complete strangers. They still cheered together everyday, but their friendship was becoming nothing more than a series of begrudging glances, cold stares, and fake smiles laced with bitter hostility. It all started when Paola came to town. She moved to Florida from Harper high school in Chicago, so her father could spend his hard earned retirement days living by the ocean and fishing off of his new boat. Paola was born to cheer. She was the captain of her old squad, and had won countless trophy’s since she the age 5. She was also extremely beautiful, smart, AND rich, since her Dad became the CEO of a popular dating website, after being fed up with Chicago’s single scene. Her stunning looks and charming personality gave her instant popularity at her new school, and she immediately bonded with Nathalie after joining the cheerleading squad at the beginning of the year.

Britnee couldn’t stand the way Nathalie and Paola were getting along. As a matter of fact, she just couldn’t stand Paola. She actually wanted to kill her. She had already lost the title of captain to her after getting in trouble for skipping class and drinking with those college frat boys from Boca. To top it all off, the guy that she’s had a crush on since 10th grade has been sending Paola flowers and is taking her to the homecoming dance. She loathed the site of her. She was always pleasant around Paola though, never revealing her animosity towards her in anyway. Nathalie on the other hand felt her detestation, and would do anything to have the Britnee she knew and loved back.

“Britt.” Said Nathalie, “As you know, our homecoming dance is Friday and it’s a tradition that we always go together. Paola is renting a limo this year and the whole squad is riding. Plus, we have like every flavor of Four Loco and we’re gonna drink em all after the game. Will you drop whatevers bothering you for one night and go with us pleeeeaaase?! It just won’t be the same without you.” Nathalie said. Britnee cringed at the thought of being in the same limo as Paola, watching her suck face with the guy she liked, and listening to her and Nathalie trade stupid little inside jokes and antic dotes that she would never understand. “Of course I’ll go.” Britnee said with disdain. ” I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” she said, as she walked away rolling her eyes. “Super!” Nathalie shouted to her friend as she walked away. “We’ll meet under the bleachers after the football game. Love you, Byyeeeeee!” Nathalie said. “Did I really just agree to ride with that bitch?!” Britnee thought.

Homecoming couldn’t have come fast enough for Paola & Nathalie. They were so excited about the game, their dresses, their dates, and the fact that Britnee had even agreed to go with them to the dance. The football team had won by a landslide, and the energy of the crowd was through the roof, thanks to their outstanding cheering, they thought. Britnee wasn’t so thrilled. She had no date, plus she had been drinking since she woke up in the morning, trying to shake the fact that she wanted to kill “that bitch” Paola. She kept her cool and they all met up under the bleaches after the game like they had planned.

“What a game! Huh Girls?!” Paola shouted, as she gave both of her “friends” a hug and a Four Loco to drink. “Best day ever!” “Yeah, whatever bitch…” Britnee said under her breath as she rolled her eyes and chugged half of her can in one sip. “Cheers!” Nathalie shouted, as she raised her can for a toast. After about 6 Four Loco cans later, the three girls were out of it. Paola & Nathalie were making up nonsense cheers, and running around in circles with Burger King crowns on their head shouting “Look at me, Look at me! I’m the Homecoming queen, I’m the homecoming queen!” Britnee was disgusted. Although she had played nice before, tonight Britnee was shit-faced drunk and downright angry. She had found a machete in the janitors closet earlier while her two friends frolicked around the deserted campus like idiots. She swung it around pretending to be a killer like the ones from some of her favorite Halloween slasher flicks. “Nathalie, Paola! Come out come out wherever you are!” She screamed.

“We’re over here Britnee!”, they shouted. “Are you ready to go to the dance?!” “Ready?!” Britnee screamed. “Are you bitches ready…….To Die!?” She shouted, as she raised the machete in the air, heavily under the influence of Four Loco. “Haha! Your so crazy Britnee!” Nathalie said. “Put that knife down and let’s go for a ride in that limo bitchesss!” Britnee was no longer in her right mind. She was in the blackout stage of the Four Loco’s, and the only thing that kept her from passing out drunk was her jealous rage. She grabbed Paola by her pigtails and put the Machete to her throat. “Tell me you’ll quit this cheerleading squad and I might just spare your life you whore!” Britnee shouted. Before Paola could even answer, Britnee dragged the machete blade across Paola’s throat and split her from ear to ear. Blood oozed everywhere. Alot slower than she expected though… All she could hear was blood curdling gags, as Paola desperately tried reaching for her last seconds of breath. All Britnee could do was laugh.

Nathalie just stood there in utter shock. She couldn’t even scream. The best friend she once knew was now replaced by a cold blooded killer, a killer possessed by a demonic alcoholic energy drink and a giant machete. Britnee raised the knife high above her head as she moved towards Natalie. “How could you?!” Natalie mumbled, as she passed out cold from utter fear. “Because Nathalie”, Britnee explained to her unconscious friend, “I can’t have any outside bitches in our clique that I don’t approve of.” Britnee sneered. She then gabbed Nathalie by the wrists and slowly slit them at the artery, as if to make it look like a suicide or something. After both cheerleaders were dead, drained of blood, and pale as ghosts, Britnee dragged them both over to the dumpster for the janitor to deal with in the morning….

The next morning Britnee woke up in her bed still soaked in the blood of her dead teammates. Her head was pounding harder than she had ever felt it before. “What happened last night?” She thought. “Dam I’m hungover…. I better call Nathalie and find out if I made a fool of myself at homecoming.” Britnee said, as she reached for her cell phone. Before she could even dial, the sound of police sirens echoed outside her door. “What the fuck?!” She thought. “I’m never drinking Four Loco’s again!”

Four Loco= Blackout in a Can. This story is dedicated to R.L Stine —- Happy Halloween!

Posted in Photography by Anthony Nicholas on October 29, 2010

I promised myself I wouldn’t drink that night.

Upstate NY

Posted in Photography by Anthony Nicholas on October 29, 2010

My first glimpse of Autumn.

Katie & Will

Posted in Love by Anthony Nicholas on October 27, 2010